Joe's Adventures In Florida: Shark Valley 2008

In 2008 I had some really good rides at Shark Valley. So many good rides I can't cover it all in one post. Our ride through Shark Valley a month after Tropical Storm Fay as well as our night ride deserves, and will be getting, a post of it's own.

In 2008 I probably did at least 15 trips to Shark Valley. We started riding with our friend Phil and he really brought the crazy into the trips. One day Phil and I rode out there and found an alligator under the bridge on the trail by the tower. We decided to lure it to go to one side of the bridge so we could reach under the other side and pet it's tail. Then we decided to get a little brave and play with the ones on the side of the road, seeing how close we can get before the run into the water.

Despite what people say, and what the National Park printed on their brochures, alligators do not run 40 mph. I don't know how that one got started but it's simply not true. They may lunge at 40 mph but to say they run 40 mph would be to say that a rattlesnake can slither at 110 mph just because that is their striking speed. I think the National Park just kept up the stupidity to scare tourist and keep them away. Alligators have never been clocked but the estimate is that they run somewhere between 9 to 11 mph. On top of that they can only run for 30 feet and then they are done. Zigzagging to get away form an alligator is pointless, it will do nothing. Any healthy adult can outrun an alligator so the trick is to stay at least a body length from their face and pay attention to what you are doing. If you know the facts its easy to stay safe. Stay out of the water, don't corner them, don't mess with their babies, and pay attention to your surroundings.

For anyone that thinks the government couldn't possibly screw up a brochure consider this. There is a sign on the boardwalk at Shark Valley that says the Everglades have a tropical envirnoment. Not more than 100 yards away is another sign that says the everglades are in a subtropical environment. Well what is it? The first one is correct, the Everglades are in tropical environment. Or the one I like is the sign in Arizona that says "No pets past this sign. Poisonous snakes and insects inhabit this area." The sign has a picture of a snake and a scorpion. So what's wrong with it? Well neither are poisionous, they are venemous and a scorpion is not an insect. They also didn't include spiders, tarantulas, or gila monsters. It should say something to the effect "Venemous replies and arthropoda." Sorry about the rant, but proving a point. The government is good at wasting money being wrong. Do your research, learn the facts, and alligators aren't so scary.

So back to my adventures. One day we decided we were going to do a night ride, whole different blog on that one. Around the same time Natalie and I did an early morning sunset ride. The goal was to be at the tower by sunset and enjoy the view of the sun coming up over the everglades. Aftwards we drive around loop road and big cypress. Again another blog.

Also around that time we managed to get higher up on the tower. The tower has three tiers and the second and third are closed off. However the metal they had sealing it off had rusted through and someone had opened it. No one was around so we went ahead and went higher up. I've seen pictures online of people up there while crowds were around so I think it used to be open all the time until someone got stupid, got injured, and sued. So now not many people get to go up top.

Sometime in summer that year I was taking a picture of an alligator with it's head poking out of one of the channels that allows water to cross the road. The gator only had it's head out so there was no way it could come out, turn around, and attack me. So I was standing about 10 feet away, with my bike between me and the gator, and I was taking pictures. Well just as I'm taking pictures the tram rolls up and scares the gator. The gator came out, turned around and starting hissing. Of course then the tram operator decided it was my fault, not the loud engine, and tried giving me a lecture in front of everyone on the tram like she's a ranger or something. To top it off she was going on and on about how fast alligators are. And this is why I will never give them my money and ride the tram. The tour guide was not only rude, she's ignorant. She scared the gator, not me. What I was doing wasn't unsafe. It would be impossible for that gator to get me where I was positioned. I would have had a headstart and I'm a lot faster than a gator. After moving on I could hear her in the background talking trash over her microphone about me having my shirt off (it was really hot that day) and how I'm going to burn. That's why God invented sunblock. I stood there shaking my head in disbelief that they are so rude and unprofessional in front of their customers. Again, if you're going to Shark Valley, bring a bike or rent one there. The tram operators are rude and don't have a clue what they are talking about.

Two days before my wedding my dad and I did an early Thanksgiving morning ride. A cold front came through the day before so it was a chilly 56 degrees that morning. The first alligator we saw I decided to play around with it. My dad was laughing because I couldn't hang onto the alligator and it got away. I kept trying to get him to grab one by the tail but he wasn't interested. Finally after seeing me mess with a couple more, and realizing they're going to try to escape not attack, he gave it a try. He couldn't hold on either. I think that might have been the same morning, or maybe it was before this trip, I saw a really big deer running across the road. And then there's the vulture eating out of the alligator's butt. No joke, picture below. That was entertaining to watch.